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erikadprice:

It is a cruel irony that the response to discovering you have severe anemia is having even more of your thin, sad, weak blood drawn out of your weak, sad, cold body. 

Are you a vegetarian?

tastefullyoffensive:

Coming soon, to a theatre near you. [bitfiend]

What You Crave vs What You Need

Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
Cookies: Freudian psychology.
Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
Ice: The sweet release of death.

HOW TO COOK THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF PASTA:

sarcastic-sanity:

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

(via blian-b)

(Source: kingtylerrr, via caryssabvb)

dearnonacepeople:

#TweetLikeAStraightPerson is a gem

Wouldn’t it be better called tweet like a bigot? Or something that isn’t just summarizing a whole group of people as assholes?

(via elioisawesome)